I showed him my bush... on skype.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
