ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
