Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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