Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
