Non-Jews are for practice
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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