and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i will never coherently bang her
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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