Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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