is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
