dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
