This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
