my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Two words: blizzard sex
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
