The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
