Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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