Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The beer is more important than you right now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize