Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
