How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
