I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
