yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
