I love black thongs
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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