No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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