We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
