I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
