im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
