I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
