after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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