I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
