I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
