is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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