people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
