I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
