I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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