He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
