Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize