omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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