Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
