You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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