becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
