he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
