Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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