It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
