We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
