so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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