just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
