oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
