Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
