He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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