ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
either way he was missing a nipple.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
