Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
