Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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