i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
