I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
