return my video game
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
