So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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