How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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