Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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