All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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