i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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