Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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