No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
