i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My vagina is officially offended.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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