youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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