Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
