That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
