Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize