I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
