I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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