He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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