Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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