I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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