You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
