You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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