I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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