Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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