I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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