I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize