It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
