i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
