Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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