butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm too high and old for this...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
