So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I smell stomach acid.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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