1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize