Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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