I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just sent this text using only my big toe
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
