You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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