Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
